want to write this down but not somewhere as open as facebook so here it goes.
My nan passed on 3rd of march this year. It was unexpected although she had dementia. Growing up, my mum was often to ill to take care of me and my siblings so it was nana who often took care of us when my dad worked to help up live. Losing nana has been so unbearably hard. Its never really sank in and I’ve had to stay strong for my family the past 3 months, my dad in particular and so I feel the reality has never hit me fully.
On my last exam this year, 11 days after she died, someone told me just before the exam started that I had a white feather on my back, apparently meaning someone was watching over me. No one on my course knew what had happened. I managed to get a first in those exams.
Then, out of no where I found my favourite childhood toy she gave me when i was 3 years old, a cuddly fox. I lost him when I was about 11 but then I randomly found him.
Last night I dreamt I was in bristol and was given the chance to see nana once again, one last time to say good bye. When I saw her we hugged and she sighed and I never wanted to let go. We walked to the suspension bridge where I broke down with her and she reassured me she was okay and we all would be. For the first time in my life I actually woke up crying and couldnt compose myself for over half an hour.
I feel like she came to me in my dream just to reassure me, its weird, almost a bit spiritual.
I love you nana flossie, and I miss you so much I cant even say. x